women in the media, me in the world.

Yesterday, I attended a panel where Jacqui Banaszynski lead Missouri Honor Medalists Barbara Ehrenreich, Meredith Artley and Merrill Perlman in a discussion about women in the media.

I left not with wanting to shout, "FEMINISM!" or even to be known as this woman who played an incredible role in the media, but instead it made me think, "What is my role in journalism at all?" I don't strive to be known as this respectable women in the media who makes an impact, but I strive to be respected as a person in this world who makes an impact. It's not fair to put yourself in a box like that and say, "I will only accept greatness if it comes in the form of x or y" or "I will only be making an impact if I do it this specific way like they did." I do that a lot. I compare and when I fall short of the expectation I had for myself, all that is left is a little bit of time; the rest was wasted.

I think it's important to note the challenges of being a women in the journalism field and how to overcome those obstacles, but I think it's equally important to note the challenges of being a journalist overall. And those were the wheels that were turning for me in yesterday's panel. What will it take to get there? What am I willing to sacrifice? What am I not willing to sacrifice? 

During the panel, the women touched on the idea of women getting tortured with the work/life balance.

Banaszynski asked, "Can we have it all?"

"What is 'it'?" asked Perlman.

That's the ultimate question. In my opinion, the "it" is what you make it be. Like Perlman said yes, you're going to have make sacrifices somewhere; I think that's with any career, whether in the act of pursuing it, or when it finally comes time to live it out.

"In your 20s, you can build your life around journalism. Or maybe I built journalism around my life, I'm not sure," said Artley.

You can build journalism around your life. Hmm.

Here's my "it". The non-negotiable things I want for my life. Or in other words, the things I will build journalism around:

1. I have to travel. 

At least a little bit. At least at first. I love going new places and trying new things, and doing them with someone or others (which leads into my next point).

2. Loyalty to the people in my life. 

Whether that be my spouse and putting them first, or attending my kids' soccer practice (if I have kids) or standing by a best friend on her wedding day. Loyalty to them comes first.

3. I have to be OK. 

In other words, I will make sure to take care of myself and my mental well-being before I stretch myself to the point of insanity. Perlman mentioned at some law firms they have crying rooms. Mark my words when I say I will never work somewhere where there is a crying room.

So, as far as sacrificing and seeing how far I'll go, I'm not entirely sure yet. I think we all just wing it and sometimes we lose things before we even realized we were sacrificing them in the first place.

I know few things for certain, but one of them is that journalism is a learning experience every single day. Yes, it's incredibly demanding and difficult but there are so many different ways you can be a part of something that most people don't.

"Journalism is an adventure," said Ehrenreich. "I don't understand most people's lives and how they don't die of boredom. I need adventure."

Me too, Barbara. Me too.